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20 January 2012 @ 10:49 pm
Donnie Wahlberg  

The upside to being a loser with no plans on a Friday night is that I can watch Blue Bloods. I don't know what it is about those Wahlberg brothers playing hard ass boys from the neighborhood, gets me everytime. Anyhooo... I said last time that I would finish updating about work and other things. So that IT position I was stressing about more than a year ago finally came through. As of mid-2011 I am the Information Technology Coordinator for the business office at JMU. It sounds far more impressive than it is, but it's exciting for me. Though I feel helplessly lost most days, it actually comes a lot more naturally than I anticipated early on. I like it for the most part, but the politics and drama in my office environment really kill my buzz most of the time. Since the upgrade ended (which I ended up doing a lot of the work for alone because my boss took over a month off work in the middle of the project to adopt a baby. He also told me about it 48 hours before he was gone) things have been a lot different between Brandon and I. I won't lie, it's been really hard at times. He was my mentor, someone I really looked up to and admired, and I feel like he really let me down. I'm sure in many ways I brought this on myself, by having such high expectations from him when he is really only human. It's hard though to find out that someone you thought the world of is just as capable of failure as anyone else. I think that it probably has to be hard for him having me expecting him to have all the answers all the time. But we have good days and bad. It's not the same though and that is what is hardest.

Contributing to my stress at work was the 8 weeks I was out of the office this summer for my jaw surgery. It was difficult, scary, and did not go as planned at all. I was only supposed to be in thR hospital for 2 days and was in the ICU for a week. I was also supposed to have a fairly pain-free recovery for 6 weeks and it ended up being extremely painful, and it was 8 before I was back to work and another couple months before I really started to feel like myself again. Looking back, it is what it is. Aesthetically, it was a huge difference. I look like a completely different person now and I am pleased with the results, but this was not done for cosmetic reasons and the medical benefits have been slow to develop. I also have some new problems that developed as a result of the surgery (partial facial paralyzation and numbness) and the stress on my body, and lack of TNF inhibitors for that long of time have caused irreversible damage and progression of my disease. So, I'm dealing with new problems as they arise, but it has not been easy. All in all, I'll get through it and do the best I can.

Nice transition into the next major change. I moved into my own place in March. Cute little 2 bedroom house in Bridgewater. Tek and I like it a lot. I have everything I need for the most part. Mom stayed at the house with me through my surgery recovery and in August when I went back to work she moved back to Syracuse. She is living with my Grandparents and helping my gram take care of my grandpa who's alzheimers is getting really bad. It's such a blessing in disguise that her job at JMU wasn't a good fit because I think my grandma needed her but would never admit it. So ultimately everyone is where they need to be. It's funny how I really don't feel lonely, even though I am in most essence of the word, alone. I was really concerned with how I'd adjust to my mom leaving because I really have never been away from her like this before. Oddly enough I'm really ok. I don't miss her, because I don't really feel like she is gone. I talk to her nearly everyday via text or phone calls. Ombusy otherwise and I have my own life. Guess this is what it feels like to grow up. She's pretty amazing though. I miss being around her mostly because we have such a good time together. No one appreciates our humor like we do.

All in all, I'm doing ok. Of course things could always get better and I'm alright with that. If I had everything I wanted or needed I feel life would be pretty boring. I like the challenges even if they seem overwhelming at times. I'm just going to keep doing me, and hopefully 2012 will be a good year.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Berryberrymcgregor on January 21st, 2012 04:40 pm (UTC)
It's so good to get news from you! Looks like you had a very eventful year but i'm glad you're okay now. Although I wish you to get even better, you know.
I can relate to you feeling all alone now that you have your own apartment. That's my plan for this year and I'm so terrified of it.